Familiar with “Nice Guy Syndrome?” Can anything be done about it? Curious what it takes to become an integrated man? Joe Polish ad Dr. Robert Glover chat about these topics and more in this episode of Genius Network.
Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want In Love, Sex, And Life.
Here’s a glance at what you’ll learn from Dr. Glover in this episode:
- Why Dr. Robert Glover wrote his book “No More Mr. Nice Guy”
- How to give to others without it coming from a needy, codependent place
- What “Nice Guy Syndrome” is and what it takes to become an integrated man
- Dr. Robert Glover shares a revealing story from his marriage that changed his life
- How and why we develop defense mechanisms to soothe and prevent uncomfortable feelings from an early age
- What it takes to transform feelings of anxiety, shame and internal negativity
- Don’t Fight Silent Battles: Why trying to heal alone doesn’t work (and what to do instead)
- Dr. Glover explains what boundaries are and how you can develop healthy boundaries
- What men can do to more easily embrace their masculinity
- A definition of ‘intimacy’ that left Dr. Glover speechless (PLUS: How to create more intimacy, safety, and trust in your relationships)
- The candid truth about sex addiction and what Dr. Glover does to help sex addicts heal
- Discovering and Embracing The Real You: How to become who you really are and who you are meant to be”
- Glover originally became a Family Psychologist in order to save his family.
- Sometimes always wanting to help others can be dysfunctional if it’s coming from a needy dependent place from inside of you.
- It takes a while before you are acting out of genuine integrity and not creating what Dr. Glover calls the “covert contract”. Give yourself years if you need to.
- Being a Nice Guy often leads to becoming passive aggressive which results in feeling unappreciated and resentment.
- A number of men are striving to be Nice Guys because they feel defective and unlovable. The other kind of Nice Guy tends to compartmentalize their internal negativity.
- There are two powerful dynamics that drive Nice Guys, one is anxiety and the other is toxic shame.
- Living up to your greatest potential can’t be done alone. Find support in a men’s group, therapy, whatever you need to do so you are no longer alone.
- We don’t become Nice Guys in isolation, it’s usually due to experiences with your family and friends.
- Nice Guys fundamentally believe that they aren’t good enough and need to be more in order to deserve the love of someone else.
- Don’t try to reinvent the wheel, find the people who have felt the way you do and learn from them and how they dealt with it.
- Nice Guys don’t have boundaries and they are one of the most important aspects of a successful adult life.
- Boundaries allow us to be who we are. They allow you to set the terms of what your life is going to look like.
- As adults, we have to learn how to enforce the boundaries that we set around ourselves.
- Anxiety is contagious and our anxiety coping methods kick in at a very early age. Nice Guy Syndrome is basically a defense mechanism that you’ve developed to mitigate negative feelings that you learned when you were young.
- Going deep in a relationship requires tremendous amounts of trust, which is difficult while you are being guarded.
- Knowing how to pick safe people and letting them in can change the world.
- Don’t be afraid to do guy things. Reach out and connect with men in traditionally manly ways.
- If you find yourself feeling like a victim, the best thing you can do is something physical. Get out and move your body.
- Porn on the internet is so available at this point, it’s basically the most common addiction in the world.
- Talking about sexuality is a way of bringing it into the open and removing the secretive nature of it. Without the secretive nature, the impulse tends to go away.