Negotiation Mastery: Negotiation Lessons From A Former FBI Hostage Negotiator For Becoming More Persuasive with Chris Voss and Joe Polish – Genius Network Episode #138

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Episode Summary

Chris Voss knows negotiations. From international crisis to high-stakes hostage and kidnapping situations, Chris has used his skill of negotiation to literally save lives. Now, Chris focuses on teaching business negotiations, which – perhaps not so surprisingly – follows the same framework. In this episode, Chris shares common negotiation mistakes, top-secret persuasion techniques, and how to gain influence and control within a negotiation – no matter how high the pressure. 

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Want to learn how to persuade like an FBI hostage negotiator? Chris Voss, a master of negotiations, tells you how you can use life-saving negotiation techniques to save your business in today’s Genius Network episode. 

Here’s a glance at what you’ll learn from Chris in this episode:

  • Why Oprah Winfrey is the greatest negotiator of all time (PLUS: The skills needed to be a great negotiator).
  • Chris’ definition of “negotiation” and the most common mistakes to avoid when negotiating.
  • A 30-second technique for making yourself 31% smarter and more effective.
  • What “Never Split The Difference” means and why compromise is the dumbest idea on the planet.
  • Why a “yes” response is meaningless (and how to know if you’re getting “false yeses”).
  • What the best negotiators do to get results under extreme pressure.
  • How to get what you want by being assertive while maintaining an empathic relationship.
  • One of the most effective ways to spot a liar (Chris shares EXACTLY what to look for).
  • The three voice tones you can use when negotiating and when to use them.
  • Is there any person or situation you can’t negotiate with? Chris reveals the truth…
  • The Subtle Art of Bending Reality: How to use emotional drivers to get what you want.
  • How to use the “Proof of Life” strategy to gain control and influence within a negotiation.
  • What to do when a negotiation goes bad (AND: The most surprising thing Chris learned working for the FBI).
  • The surprising reason why you want to think about predictability (not trust) in relationships.
  • How to protect yourself from being taken advantage of and create REAL win-win outcomes.

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Show Notes

  • The same set of rules apply to all negotiations. 
  • The Black Swan Group helps people cut negotiation times for their clients.
  • His first negotiation was a bank robbery with hostages – he followed a framework.
  • Oprah got Lance Armstrong to admit to everything on-camera – he agreed to it all in advance. 
  • Oprah’s team does a lot of what they do, but in a different way and for a different purpose. 
  • Negotiation is communicating to accomplish a result. It includes gathering and using information and emotion.
  • Most people are hardwired for “yes” and terrified by “no” but that shouldn’t be the case. 
  • Reframing a question to have a “no” answer can yield surprising results. 
  • Someone saying “You’re right,” is very different than if they say, “That’s right.”
  • “That’s right” means they agree 100%, are all-in, and feel empathy from you – Chris shares a real-life example.
  • Sociopaths are good at empathy because it’s quick and sustainable. 
  • There are three voices: one that’s honest and assertive, one that’s happy – you smile, which hardwires your mood and makes you smarter- and “late-night FM DJ”.
  • It’s not the fact that you didn’t get the deal that kills you, it’s the time it took to not get the deal. 
  • Decisions are based on how we calculate loss; figure out how to change the loss in your prospect’s mind.
  • Don’t pitch value, pitch loss. You need to figure out the loss your prospect sees and frame your pitch around it.
  • A “Black Swan” is the unexpected tiny thing that’ll change everything and there’s one in every deal. 
  • Get people to talk when they aren’t guarded – that’s when you’ll get the truth and the loss they fear.
  • Two-thirds of the time, questions aren’t the best way to get information; say something like, “It seems like you’ve given this a lot of thought” (an observation).
  • A liar knows they’re lying. They talk at length and try hard to convince you. A truthful person doesn’t need a lot of words and will get frustrated if you don’t get it. 
  • Assert your own interest but let it land in an emotionally intelligent and empathetic way.
  • Articulate the negative as an observation and let the otherside talk first.
  • If you let them go first, you’ll find something you love.

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