Emotional First Aid With Guy Winch

Episode Summary

Guy Winch is a licensed psychologist, author, and popular TED presenter. Dr. Winch received his doctorate in clinical psychology from New York University and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at NYU Medical Center.  His books have been translated into twenty-one languages and his TED videos have been streamed millions of times.

Here’s a glance at what you’ll learn from Guy in this episode:

  • Emotional First Aid: How to deal with rejection, loneliness, guilt, failure and psychological injuries
  • Why Guy wanted to become a psychologist and how he helps his patients heal emotionally
  • The Truth About Trauma: Finding purpose and meaning in the face of overwhelming circumstances
  • What Emotional Hygiene is and why it’s so important to practice it
  • Joe and Guy have a candid discussion about addiction, trauma and pain
  • Strategies for dealing with difficult people in your family, work and life
  • What to do to increase your quality of life and experience more life satisfaction
  • Guy shares how neurochemistry and behavior impact each other
  • How to become psychologically stronger and more resilient
  • Guy’s best advice for healing your relationships  
  • Why we develop bad habits (and 3 daily habits that help you feel happier)

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Show Notes

  • How do you describe yourself and what you do? 2:20
  • Most people who go into psychology are interested in self knowledge. Psychology touches every aspect of life. 3:25
  • We spend lots of time dealing with our physical needs but spend almost no time dealing with emotional or psychological injuries. 6:40
  • Most people have no idea how to deal with the pain of emotional injuries. 8:00
  • Emotional hygiene is about developing and maintaining our emotional health. 8:40
  • People will often refer back to their childhood when they asked about a time where their feelings were hurt. 9:20
  • We concoct responses in our head when we fail or are emotionally injured and they can keep coming back if the injury is not properly dealt with. 10:40
  • If you treat emotional injuries properly, you can often become more resilient. 11:30
  • Rumination can become a damaging habit and makes people more at risk for substance abuse disorders. 12:20
  • Addiction is one possible response to trauma. It only take a few seconds to suffer a trauma. 16:05
  • A regular injury is specific, a trauma is something that impacts your psychological system and can cause you to rethink your views on yourself and your life. 19:00
  • It’s not about the objective event but rather the subjective experience of the event. 19:55
  • People have certain proclivities when it comes to dealing with injuries. 22:40
  • You have to discover the individual way you cope with trauma. 25:15
  • “You have to be able to forge some kind of meaning from your trauma.” -Guy Winch 26:45
  • “The ability to transform suffering into something useful and transcendent is one of the greatest things you can do in life.” -Joe Polish 27:55
  • Hope heals 29:10
  • You have to weigh the damage and benefits of being around damaging people. 31:15
  • What is the point of staying in a miserable relationship, especially at work? 32:15
  • Life satisfaction is way too small a variable when it comes to choosing our careers. 33:30
  • Gratitude exercises are the first step in emotional hygiene. 34:30
  • The two most common emotional wounds are failure and rejection. You have to look at blind spots when it comes to failure. 36:15
  • Your self critical voice is useless. Be coach to yourself instead. 39:10
  • When you don’t have a strong sense of identity, it can be violated. 42:40
  • “The tricky thing is not sobriety, but the maintenance of sobriety.” -Guy Winch 43:55
  • Addiction becomes central to your identity. 44:20
  • Brain chemistry affects our behaviour, but our behaviour can also affect our brain chemistry. 50:05
  • Couples tend to have the same arguments over and over again. Change the script. 54:45
  • Become curious and try different things if something isn’t working. 56:00

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